Why Extramarital Affairs Are Rising in India — and What Couples Can Do

A quiet change inside Indian marriages

Extramarital relationships are no longer a rare, whispered exception in India. Affair-focused apps now report millions of Indian users, and their sign-ups are growing fastest in smaller towns, not just the metros.

As a psychiatrist who has treated couples since 1989, and who has run a sexual medicine hospital in Jaipur since 2014, I see the other side of these numbers every week: the husband who feels rejected, the wife who feels invisible, the couple who stopped talking about sex years ago. An affair is rarely the start of a marriage s problems. More often, it is the symptom.

This article looks at what the data says, why it is happening, and what couples can do — before an affair, or after one.

What the numbers say

The clearest signal is growth on affair platforms. Gleeden, which entered India in 2017, reported about 5 lakh Indian users in 2019, 2 million by 2023, 3 million in 2025 and 4 million by March 2026.

A word of caution. Almost all of these figures come from companies that profit from affairs, using online, self-reported samples. They likely overstate how common infidelity is. But the direction is consistent: more people are looking outside their marriage, in more places, and more openly than before. Since the Supreme Court decriminalised adultery in 2018, it has been a ground for divorce, not a crime — which has also made the subject easier to talk about.

Why it is happening

In my clinic, affairs almost never have a single cause. These are the drivers I see most often:

• Emotional loneliness. Many couples live together but no longer feel seen, heard or valued. An outsider who simply listens can feel like a lifeline.

• The smartphone in every pocket. Social media, chat apps and dating platforms make contact private, instant and easy to hide. Many affairs begin as "just chatting."

• Work stress and long hours. Exhaustion leaves little time or energy for each other, while colleagues share the day s highs and lows.

• Marriages that were never really discussed. Arranged or hurried marriages can bring together people with very different expectations about intimacy, roles and affection.

• Changing roles and independence. More women now work, travel and earn, and both partners expect more from marriage than duty alone.

• Unspoken sexual problems. This is the cause I see most, and the one discussed least — and it deserves its own section.

The sexual-health link nobody talks about

In Indian homes, sexual problems are usually met with silence. A husband with erectile difficulty or premature ejaculation may start avoiding intimacy out of embarrassment. His wife may read that avoidance as rejection. A wife with pain during sex or low desire may withdraw, and her husband may take it personally. Years pass, and the bedroom becomes a place of tension instead of closeness.

That distance is fertile ground for an affair. Sometimes one partner looks outside to "prove" that they are still desirable or still capable. Sometimes they seek the affection that has disappeared at home.

The important point: most of these problems are medical or psychological, and most are treatable. Common ones include:

• Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation

• Low sexual desire in men or women, often linked to stress, depression, diabetes, hormones or medication

• Painful intercourse or vaginismus

• Unconsummated marriage

• Performance anxiety and mismatched sexual expectations

Treating these early can restore not only sexual function but trust and closeness — and remove one of the strongest pressures that pushes people toward an affair.

Warning signs that a marriage is drifting

These are not proof of an affair. They are signs that the relationship needs attention — the earlier, the better.

• You rarely talk about anything beyond children, money, and household tasks.

• Physical intimacy has become rare, mechanical, or a source of arguments.

• One of you avoids sex, and the other has stopped asking.

• Phones are guarded, and screen time has replaced time together.

• Criticism, contempt, or silence has replaced affection.

• One partner shares more emotionally with a friend or colleague than with their spouse.

• Either of you often imagines life with someone else.

What couples can do

To protect the marriage

1. Make time that is only for each other. Even 20 minutes a day without phones or children keeps the connection alive.

2. Talk about sex openly. Say what you like, what has changed, and what worries you. Silence is more damaging than any awkward conversation.

3. Treat sexual problems as health problems. Erectile difficulty, low desire, or pain are not character flaws. See a specialist instead of avoiding the bedroom.

4. Agree on digital boundaries. Discuss together what counts as crossing a line online.

5. Repair small hurts quickly. Resentment that is never spoken tends to grow.

If an affair has already happened

Many marriages survive infidelity, and some become stronger. Healing usually needs:

1. Ending the affair completely and being honest about it.

2. Space for the hurt partner s anger and questions, without pressure to "move on" quickly.

3. Understanding why it happened — not to excuse it, but to fix what was broken.

4. Rebuilding trust through consistent actions, over months rather than weeks.

5. Professional help. A trained therapist keeps these painful conversations safe and productive. Both partners may also need care for anxiety, depression, or sleep problems that often follow.

When to seek professional help

See a specialist if intimacy has faded for months, if a sexual problem is causing avoidance or arguments, if trust has been broken, or if either of you feels anxious, low, or stuck. Coming early is far easier than repairing years of distance.

At Vivan Hospital, Jaipur, we have treated sexual and relationship concerns exclusively since 2014. Consultations are completely confidential, and couples or individuals are equally welcome. Treatment combines medical care for sexual dysfunction with counselling for the relationship itself.

A marriage in trouble is not a marriage that has failed. With the right help, most couples can find their way back to each other.

Book a confidential consultation at:  vivanhospital.com.

Sources

• Ashley Madison / YouGov infidelity survey, 2025 — The CSR Journal

• Kanchipuram tops Ashley Madison list, June 2025 — Free Press Journal

• Gleeden survey of 1,503 married Indians — Business Insider India

• Gleeden–Ipsos survey, 3 million users — Global Dating Insights

• Gleeden AI and 4 million users, March 2026 — Let s Data Science

• Gleeden 2019 survey, 5 lakh users — Business Standard